It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
