i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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