member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
