I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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