GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
