I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
