..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
