you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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