u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
