Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
