If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
