Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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