You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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