quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Shame - the story of my life.
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