I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
