You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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