Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
