I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
