The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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