if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
whose parrot is this?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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