how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Randomize
