At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
