Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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