Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
