i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
