i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
