Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize