Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
