your thong is hanging out like whoa
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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