Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
