I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
