Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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