she was so not down for the gang bang
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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