i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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