why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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