Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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