God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
