What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
