Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
