I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
