I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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