did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
