We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
