You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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