we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
