i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
