i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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