do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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