you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
