If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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