My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
