Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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