my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
