I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
