have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you are never too drunk for berry picking
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
