i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
