okay pat passed out under dana's car
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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