I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
