Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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