I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize