i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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